I feel your disgrace
when I‘m with a man
when I hold his hand
when I kiss him
when I lay with him
when I am among
the likes of me –
that you think
have tainted me.
I never feel my true self
without your condemnation.
When will I be enough?
Boyhood
A beginning
This is where the path ends,
you say with tears in your eyes.
You snatch your hand from me.
This is where the path ends.
Then let us go a new one, I say.
Like no one’s ever gone before.
Only this path ends here,
I say with tears of joy in my eyes.
That’s not proper
He became quiet, his eyes were closed. He stopped moving, the stream of water made his arms float rhythmically. „Stop shouting,“ I had said to him just a few seconds ago – I didn’t want to attract attention and disturb strangers https://phonelookupbase.com , that wasn’t the right thing to do. Even as a child our parents had always warned us when my sister and I were playing on the beach on holiday. Now I recognized our need too late and did not call for help.
Meanwhile it had become quiet, the tide had washed too much water and tore away the ground under our feet, it was now completely under water, swimming had become impossible. The beach, which was just in sight, gradually disappeared behind us. I held his hand in mine, he was in my anchor. Until the tide left us and washed us exhausted to the beach.
Everything is different today
When he woke up in the morning, he stretched out, his back didn’t hurt today. He didn’t get up annoyed because again he hadn’t slept enough last night. On the way to the bathroom he looked out of the window, but didn’t swear that today it was getting too hot and that he didn’t know what to wear. He drank his coffee and didn’t complain about its poor quality. On the way to the office he didn’t get upset about the many ignorant people or the morning traffic chaos. In the office, he didn’t hurry to go through the many appointments with the annoying colleagues who kept him from working. And he didn’t think of the amount of open tasks that he thought he could never accomplish today. Today he was not upset that he was earning far too little money for his high level of responsibility – for a job that did not fulfill him. In the evening he didn’t start a quarrel with his partner because he didn’t do the dishes and didn’t live up to all his expectations. And he would not go to bed that night believing it was another wasted day in his life with which he was so unhappy until yesterday.
The Souvereign
The prince felt that thinking was unnecessary, it had caused him too many problems. So he forbade it for all his subjects. The many discussions were annoying for him, after all only his thoughts were the really good ones – and so they became the only ones in his kingdom. And it satisfied him how powerful he was and how much he had his subjects under control.
Satisfied, he leaned back into his throne, fell asleep and woke up in time for dinner. All his subjects were already sitting at the table – his wife and two children. They remained silent and stared into emptiness. Because they were forbidden to think, they could hardly think of any good topics to talk about. „Tomorrow it should rain,“ the mother finally said.
Invisible
With each passing day he faded more and more, also becoming increasingly silent. His powerful laughter had changed, joy showed itself in his face only by a slight twitching of the corners of his mouth. Tears had dried up in him, he could not express sadness. His face seemed almost petrified. He should not stand out or even become a burden. He became inconspicuous, almost invisible to everyone else. Until the fear of attention had finally completely dissolved him.
The Encounter
It got quiet after he left. He had left me and not even turned around. It would probably have unbalanced him, because he was too drunk.
Two decades passed before we happened to see each other again in the street. When I discovered him, I looked embarrassed to the floor. He just walked on. He didn’t remember me, over the years the alcohol had erased his memories. When he passed me, I looked after my father until he turned into the next street and finally disappeared.
In the mirror
In front of him in the mirror he saw the reflection of a figure that his customers, colleagues, superiors and even his parents wanted to see in him – always industrious and responsible, clothed with all the deceptions and exaggerations that make him an attractive and respected person. To always live up to all expectations. But nobody knew who he really was – not even himself.
Only the best
She stood in front of the shelf and could hardly decide. The choice was simply overwhelming. Male, white, heterosexual and healthy, hardworking and career-oriented, adaptable and unobtrusive. She already had all this in her shopping basket, because she wanted to give her future baby everything it needed to develop into a socially recognized being. (mehr …)
The prototype
Before him stood his masterpiece, on which he had worked for so long, whose behaviour and appearance he had changed so often, until he fitted for him as the perfect life partner and could make him happy. This one looked at his creator and replied to him: „I leave you for someone else who suits better to me“.